F word! God forgive me God forgive me God forgive me God forgive me God forgive me...

i remember when i was a kid my freinds would want to come to sleepy forest so bad to snack on the continental breakfast snacks that we could get for free from the office kitchen (or basically steal). i always wondered why they liked the tiny bagels, round cream cheese containers and tree top apple juice cans so much. i guess i was sick of them, i was spoiled. brianna and i used to run down to a neighbors wood pile and hide the snacks in the wood if we didnt finish them. what was the point of that? now i monotinously set out and put away similar breakfast items almost every morning of my life. and that wood pile is still in the same spot. my fear is to never leave. my hope is to move on. but at the same time, i will stay here and stress myself out every day about all the little details of owning my own business just like my mom does, if that is where i belong. my dad would tell you, according to his diagnosis, that i am like my mom and my brother is like my dad. for the most part i've realized this is true. although i hate this place at times because i have to see them stress out so much, i am damn proud of my parents. and how blessed we are with what we have been given. someone recently anonymously sent my wife a book called "the power of optimism". i hate stupid books like that, but this one is ringing true.